Iworrybouteverything asked:
I had a bad fall which resulted in a broken shoulder a year back, and now I have changed stables. The horses I ride are angels and do what I ask (most of the time!) The problem: before i go riding I feel sick with nerves yet I have nothing to worry about. When I ask for canter, I tense up and it results in a very uncontrolled too-fast trot. When I ride on the roads, visions of cars hitting us go through my head and I’m always frightened that something will send my horse bolting and bucking with me. When I jump, on the approach and close to take off, my mind is full of things like ‘what if he stops and I come off?’ and more commonly ‘oh my god what if he jumps way to high and lands heavily?’ I just can’t relax any more but horses are my life. Please help me sort this out, it will be very much appreciated.
I think what you should do is go back to basics. Stay off the roads and begin again in a arena. It would help if you had a lunging arena and start there. Walk, Trot and canter in there until you feel more confident to go into a large arena. A big help would be if you had someone who is confident to ride with you or just stand by you while you are training. This happens to the most confident riders so you musn’t feel as if you are the only one. take things slow and rebuild your trust in your horse. When you are ready for jumps, start with poles on the ground and steadily build up from there.DON’T PUSH YOURSELF. Take it easy.
Go for easy outrides and you will soon find you will relax. God Bless
I suggest that you drop back into your comfort zone for a while. If you are only comfortable walking and trotting in an arena, give yourself permission to do that until you are ready to do more. When you’ve gotten to the point that you don’t dread riding, where your barn time is a pleasure again (maybe you are even a little bit bored with what you are doing), then slowly push your comfort zone, stopping short of the point where you are actually afraid.
Do what you can on any given day, and give yourself permission to drop back into your comfort zone anytime you need to. Slowly your comfort zone will increase and you will enjoy riding again.
Forcing yourself to do more than you feel safe doing is a really unhealthy loop, and just teaches you to dread riding, rather than building confidence. It can also lead to just the situations you fear. If you are tense and frightened, you transmit that to your horse and he is more likely to be flighty and reactive.
If others try to push you into doing more than you feel safe doing, ignore them. Remember that this is a lifetime activity, and you can afford to take the time you need to be safe, rebuild your confidence, and to have fun.
Everything that you’re going through is quite normal. About three and a half years ago, I was at a horse-show, riding a horse that hadn’t been ridden in 8 months and it was his first time being ridden. Also, it was my first time ever riding him. I’d seen him at our barn at home and he looked like an easy going guy and prior to his arrival at our barn and his time off, he was a magnificent 4ft jumper who went to high level shows. So when I was offered the chance to ride him, I hopped up on him and away we went.
Well, my instructor told me that he didn’t need to be schooled and I could just take him into the ring and he would be fine. So the day goes on and it’s time for our trail class. Well, she forgot to mention that he’s never been in a trail class before – he’s a JUMPER. So, we walk over the poles, and we’re backing into the “L” figure, and we go to turn around and pick up a trot, and he decides to just take off with me in a full gallop. We’re running around the ring and I’m trying everything to gain control of this horse and he’s just caught in a dead run. Well, my instructor finally jumps out in front of him, he slams on the brakes, rears up, and I go off. I landed on my head/right side of my body and he stepped on my left leg. [To this day I still have a hoof-print scar on my left leg]. My helmet was cracked in half and they said without the helmet, I would have either died or suffered major brain damage.
Anyway, I couldn’t ride for 4 months and when I finally did get the courage to ride again, I hyperventilated the day before my scheduled lesson and all day before it. (This was at a new barn, by the way) I shook when I was getting on this old 19 year old 14.1 hand Quarter Horse mare. I had to sit on her for about 20 minutes before I was even comfortable with letting someone leading me around. I was like a helpless child who’s never ridden before. It took me about 6 more months to fully be able to walk/trot/canter and trot/canter over small poles and like 5 inch jumps.
Now, I have my own horse and I still get scared sometimes. Whenever he gets too fast or uppity with me, I tend to tense up and freak out and relive that day at the horse-show but I always remember that this is a new horse, in the two years I’ve had him, he’s never hurt me and I just have to take control of my fear. You just have to trust your riding ability and take control of the situation. If you’re afraid of your horse refusing a jump – walk him up to the jump first and make sure he’s okay with it. Before the jump/when you’re approaching it, give him an extra squeeze to tell him that “You are going over this jump and I’m ready to go over this jump with you.” If your horse decides to buck, just go with it, sit deep in your seat and pull their head up. Just have more confidence in yourself and remember that not all horses are bad and you will get over your anxiety with time. Just keep moving forward and good luck with your riding! Stay positive!!
I had this problem for ages when i was younger, as a horse (arab, so blooming fast!!) bolted with me on an open plain and i came tumbling off. this was when i was 9. He was my horse and i never got on him again for two years!! I had moved to another part of the country and like you, horses are my life, but i just couldn’t face getting on him again. a year after my fall, i started riding again at a yard in the new place i lived. I took way longer to get to where i had been and passed it but it was due to my nerves. I would break i into cold sweats, feel ill, feel light headed and just generally sick. BUT, i got through it
When ever i went to ride, my instructor would hold my horse once i was on and give me a pep talk. i advise you do the same!
When you arrive at the yard, just think, I’m a good rider, I can sit on a horse, I can jump, canter and horses listen to me. The horse trusts me. Once you’re tacked up, sing under your breath. This makes you breath! and so you don’t feel as sick or nervous, cos you have to breath! Once you’re on, the hardest thing you can hit is the sand in the school. Try riding when no other horses are around and take time to warm the horse up. walk around a lot on a loose rein and talk to him/her, as it makes them calmer too. Ease into trot and just work on speeding up and slowing down and then come back to walk.
Any time something scares you, bite down on your back teeth and say to yourself, “its ok, i’m better than this and after i ride, i’m going home for dinner! By doing this, you think about what will happen afterwards, and it makes you focus and not be so negative. The only place you’re going after the yard, is home. Think about your plans, think about what work you have to do, anything to remind you that riding will not be the end of the world
and don’t forget to Breath!!!! As for canter and jumping, the horse has nowhere else to go. They are in the school, and they won’t be leaving until you say so. when you ask for canter, sit deep, ask with your legs and WANT canter. If you’re dreading it, the horse will realise and not give it to you. and enjoy it
have a horse that canters is so much more fun than a lazy one 
When you jump, look for the next jump, don’t think about what he will do over the jump, it’s too late anyway once he takes off. Just relax and enjoy it, I do now! And i wouldn’t get on a horse for two years after!!
And funnily enough, falling off is actually not that bad if you do it in the school
it can actually be quite an adrenalin rush :p just relax, and enjoy your riding. If anything makes you nervous, just bite down on your back teeth and breath. As for the roads, your horse is very unlikely to buck with you, and rare to bolt too, but if they do, sit up straight, open your shoulders, breath and YOU ARE IN CONTROL! they can’t do much without you letting them so don’t worry bout it.
O and also, I dislocated my shoulder in a fall (was my fault completely!!! definitely not my horses) so i know the pain and anxiety of getting back on. But you’re doing great
don’t give up!
I used to do the same thing after I fell a few times. My horse bucks during the canter and it took me a while to learn to ride it out. I fell more times than I rode it out. Always remember horses can sense fear and nervousness. Tell yourself outloud that everything is fine. You need to relax first and foremost. Being tense only leades to mistakes. Horses are unpredicatable just as any animal can be. But if horses are your life, as they are mine, you will just grab the bull by the balls and go for it.
I don’t think you’re just being paranoid. All of these things that run through your mind are absolutely things that could happen and aren’t far-fetched. I do think it’s major anxiety. I think having such a bad fall as you had warrants that anxiety. Everybody is different and one person may not have any fear at all and be able to get right back on after healing, but most people would be at least a little nervous, me included. It’s great that you have gotten back into riding instead of giving up. Maybe you should just take a step back. Go back to basic things that don’t make you so nervous. Even if it is something that maks you nervous, do it over and over again until you feel more comfortable. Then work up from there. Whenever I get a little anxious, I sing songs in my head or sing my ABC’s. That always helps! You will be fine, everybody that goes through a tramatic experience like that has anxiety from it. Best of luck!
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – a few years ago I came off for the first time in 22 years. I hurt myself, got back on, finished the ride, went home and didn’t ride for 3 days as I laid around mending my back and hip. The next time back in the saddle I was fine. It took about a month before I started to have unexplainable bouts of cold sweats before and while I was riding, also filled with anxiety and fear, imagining as you do these terrible irrational crazy & bad things happening while I was riding. Honestly, it took time and then one day it went away. In the meantime, I practiced breathing and visualizing positive rides whenever I got that sick feeling (especially in the car driving there). I would also force myself to clear my mind and visualize something innocuous, like waves breaking on a beach, until I felt better.
When riding, if it got bad, I would get myself very busy with maneuvers that required a lot of precision but little speed, like lateral work, shoulder-in, quarter turns and make big squares then little squares and do the same with 8’s, etc. I got myself busy and soon became so immersed in what we were doing it would pass for the time being. As I said, one day it just went away. Someone who trains told me long ago, don’t give up, don’t go too hard on yourself, work through it at your pace, and give it time, time, time. I found a lot of truth in that over the years.
Anti-anxiety medication may be something to ask your Dr. about; it can really help get you through the rough spots in life and doesn’t have to be forever.
I feel this way sometimes too, but not to the extent that you do. I get all nervy and feel sick before I get on even my own horse. I have no idea why because I don’t even have a reason to like you do, but as soon as I’m on I feel fine again. It’s weird…
As for you, I think you should take it back to basics. Walk and trot and spend time around horses other than riding. I understand that you’re more experienced than that but you should build your confidence back up before you canter and jump again. I guarantee this will work =).
Good luck!
maybe you went back too soon. if you are that frightened i don’t think you should be riding. if you work around horses or ride horses there is Always a CHANCE you are going to get hurt. no matter how careful you are. you have to be ok with that . Also you must be able to relax when you ride. you are signaling to the horse(because your body is so tense) that you are nervous. that is why you are having so many issues with the horses you are riding now. if i were you maybe you should just gain your confidence by grooming and handling the horses first. good luck